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I'm in shock. All just because of the simple reason that I honestly can't believe how long it's been since I last updated. The days just turned into weeks, and those turned into months. All of it just slipped bye. I don't even know what happened, so no explanation can even be offered. It was a bunch of things, I guess. I don't know. I guess I just got lazy and overtime forgot about it. Funny how things work out; when I first made this journal, I was determined to post one entry a day. Something, anything. As long as there was one entry a day I would be happy. Shows how much I cared about that personal promise. And yeah, I still don't think I'm going to be posting like everyday, but I'm going to try to update with dates that are way closer to eachother than what's been going on lately--if I can even use that word. 'Lately.' Pssh. What-fucking-ever.

So I don't know. I just want to talk about what's been going on with me lately. I've been troubled by many internal thoughts, but I'm the type of person who sucks at talking about their feelings and the thoughts floating around in their head. Maybe that has something to do with why I'm suh a sucky author. It's basically the same thing.


I can't talk about it now; gotta get ready for school. We had a 2 hour delay. I slept. Logical thing to do, in my opinion. I haven't checked the news in about 20 minutes but I'm betting that we still have school today. That's what always happens, I fuckin' swear. Happened on Monday! Man, I just wish we could have a snow day. :/

I'll check again but still. Hmph.

I will totally eat these words if we have a snow day, hahah.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I last updated.  As usual, I'm choosing to blame that on school. :D This time I actually have reason to, though. High school is so not how I expected it to be....well actually, it kindof is, but we have so much more homework than I originally planned. And I swear, everytime I....well, swear, some teacher catches me. And I swear a lot, so.... daaaaayum.

Friday, the school had a pep rally. Even though I have no school spirit, I love those things. If you think about it, no matter what sexuality you are, it's the perfect place for eye candy. Seriously. Buncha boys sweating around playing basketball, buncha cheerleaders doing their little flips 'n shit. So yeah. Perfect place for me. xD I get the best of both worlds, 'nyeah?

Currently confined in my dump of a room since el madre is out there wrapping presents. >w< I can't wait to open them tomorrow. It's always way fucking fun to get new stuff.  Whiiiiich reminds me! My prejudiced grandma is over here right now! She's helping the madre, methinks. But other than that, she was here for dinner. Mm, X-mas dinner :o. Anyway, from her I got:

$20 gift-card for hot topic
Hello Kitty hoodie from hot topic

:D If you think about it, that's alot. Because shit from there is ex-fucking-pensive. So I am greatful, very grateful. Especially since that sexy kitty is my main love atm. <3

Anyhoo. I'm done for now. For some reason I feel like starting that Edvy fic I never started. D:

Old doodles from last school year

I found these on one of my art files while looking for a picture of Ellie (a much-loved OC). I was looking for a picture of her because I wanted to make an Ellie-Fan stamp for deviantART. If you don't know what I'm talking about, gtfo. I don't feel like explaining at the moment. But yeah, just wanted to make one. No particular reason why--I even doubt people would use it, heheh. Still, it would've been cute if I made it.

Yes, if I made it. Finding these doodles completely distracted me, hahah.


*quote from msi myspace bulletin*  

The much anticipated MSI DVD (the band's first), "Our Pain, Your Gain" finally hits stores TOMORROW.

 *unquote* O.M.F.G!!!! I am now going to die happy. >_> I've been waiting for this fucking thing for fucking ever and it's finally so close! Close enough to lllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!

*takes a deep breath* 

.... Uwaaaaa <3<3<3 *reads info about it* You get a free shirt and chances to win all these fucking awesome prizes if you pre-order it online, but.... ;__; i want it tomorroooooow..... *sigh* I don't know...

Little Jimmy Urine, you sexy beast >_>


Name Meaning

 [ [  a  _  u  _  d  _  e  _  r  _  e _  c  _ r  _  a  _  i  ] ]

[ [ a u b r i __   dez __   ren __  craze __  aiden __ ] ]

Aubri is still alive and thought of often. Dez, is totally and completely dead.  I don't even know if I think of her as a character anymore. Ren, on the otherhand, is totally and completely alive! <3 Drawn often, thought of often, yeah he has it good. Craze..... his looks, bio, and named all have changed. He is now Zeph. Only thing that's the same is the personality and even that may be modified a bit. He is thought of all the time, tho' not yet drawn because of his hair. xD Aiden, is alive as well. Tho' he's another one I haven't drawn yet because of his hair. :<

Thazzit. Gettin' ready for school now.

First entry in a while :o

 Whoo-whoo! Lezz start diz off with a BANG! BANG BANG! <3 I'mma be posting more now because I can.

1.) List Four fandoms you have.
Mindless Self Indulgence, Edvy, Envy, music. Those're all fandoms, right?

2.) Have you ever slept in the back of a car?
Yeah, I do a lot actually. Moreso when it's late and we've been out -all- day. I just get like, 'Sleeeeep.... <3'

3.) Have you recently dyed your hair/cut it?
Got it trimmed up a bit a couple of weeks ago, and dyed the under part 'Intenze Red'....which is really pink. I love it.

4.) List four people that you look up to the most.
MSI band.

5.) How many pets do you own as of now?
Six cats, man! Tho' I don't count two because they're always outside.

6.) Which do you prefer white or black?

7.) Who is your most played character?
Well, I think about Ren the most...

8.) Choose one or the other, not both:
-Being stuck on an island with your best friend
-Being stuck on an island with 5 acquaintances
Dude, you know what everyone's gonna pick here. Best friend. <3

9.) Name three aspects that tell who you are.
Music tard, procrastinator, freak.

10.) If you could have a power what would it be?
Hmm.....that's hard to decide. Maybe 'hands,' like in Elfen Lied. Or any of the powers that Homunculi from FMA have. Or fire. Heheh.

11.) Who was the last person you talked to?

12.) Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?
heh, Gabby.

13.) Write down the first five words (er, things) that pop into your head:
alleycat, wack, highschool, mall, hottopic

14.) What's one thing you wish you could do better?

15.) Do you like the way you are?:
I love the way I are! ;P

16.) Choose, Summer or Winter:
Ugh. Summer, definitely.

17.)Choose rain or snow.

18.) Water or ice?
Both. <3

19.) List two odd things about yourself:
x 1 x I collect change for really long amounts of time, exchange it for cash, and spend it all on whatever. Then I repeat the cycle.
x 2 x The toenails on both of my second toes on my feet have fallen off (one was because of skateboarding, other was because of... I just stubbed it on something.)


Some survey thing about what type of person you are, I guess. I think I got a lot of ties.... oh well. Just wanted to post it before I forgot. Which would be bad, because when I forget word documents, they get all moldy and dusty inside my folder that has all that stuff. Yep. Feel free to steal. I have another one to post....eventually.

[x] You go/have gone tanning. (HAVE gone. Not for a while though. I'mma pale bitch right now.)
[x] You own an iPod/mp3 player. (...Doesn't everyone?)
[x] You love Starbucks.
[x] You have been called a brat.
[] You have tons of shoes.
[] You hate buying things that are on sale.
[x] You have/had a laptop.
[x] You love shopping. (Well, when I'm really in the mood to shop.)
[x] Black is one of your favorite colors.
[x] You wear chains. (Not all the time, but...)
[x] you like heavy metal.
[x] you've shopped at hot topic
[] You have worn black lipstick.
[x] You have/had/or wanted piercings.
[] You own a pair of Tripp pants (Tripp?)
[x] You have at least one unnaturally colored haired friend.
[x] You can skateboard.
[x] You like plaid.
[x] You have Converse.
[] You hate mtv. (I love MTV, except for stuff like Real World...)
[x] you have/had/want blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
[x] You love mohawks (Only when people actually look good in them though....which, lately, hasn't been happening.)
[x] You LOVE Music. (MAJOR musictard.)
[] Hate people who pretend to be something they are not (Don't care about 'em.)
[] You are sad sometimes.
[] You have dark colored glasses.
[] You cry easily.
[x] You like emo music
[x] You've kept a journal/diary.
[x] You have written a sad poem.
[x] you have dyed your hair[highlight's count, and low lights!!]
[] You're sad when you're drunk
[x] You like rap. (Eminem...)
[x] have said "Fo Sho, Fo Shizzle, Fo Sheezy, etc." (Joking around, but yeah, I have.)
[x] You have worn/wanted a grill. (Wanted one for a while after watching Flavor or Love.)
[] You have had a freestyling contest.
[] You have worn your shoes with the tongue flipped out.
[] you know most of the lines from Boyz N Da Hood
[] You own a huge gold chain with a giant gold pendant
[x] You like loud music.
[] You love/like the Ninja Turtles. (...)
[x] You have slip-on shoes.
[x] You like Norma Jean.
[x] People have called you a freak and meant it lovingly
[x] You love to "hardcore" dance
[x] Your hair has been dyed more than one color.
[x] You wear jeans a lot.
[] You LOVE The OC.
[] You had/have/want a tiny/small sized dog.
[] Your usual outfits consist of pink.
[] You like buying shoes A LOT.
[x] You have clothes from Hollister.AE,and/or Abercrombie
[] Getting your nails done is a fun thing.
[x] You have/had big sunglasses.
[] You can't go anywhere without your hair perfect.
[x] You watch/watched the Superbowl.
[] You own track shoes or cleats other sports related shoes.
[] You collect jerseys.
[] You have/ had a special shelf for trophies and awards.
[] Your garage/shed consists of sports equipment.
[x] You belong/belonged to a team.
[] You have a specific number preferred for your jersey.
[] You like putting little bows in your hair
[x] You have mini-skirts
[x] You have parted your hair to the side.
[] You think polka-dots are way cute.
[x] You have done a peace sign while you pose for a picture.
[] You've been called scene before. (Don't even officially know what it means...)
[x] You wear/wore long, colorful socks with your skirts (Wore.)
[x] Gone four wheeling.
[] Went hunting.
[x] Owned a four/three-wheeler or dirt bike...ect.
[] Like to go fishing.
[] Eat beef jerky
[x] Ever said GIT-R-DONE.
[] Listened to the song Redneck Woman. (haha, WHAT? XD)
[] Know who Bocephus is.
[] You wear band shirts alot.
[x] If people down talk metal you down talk their favorite music.
[x] You like bands like As I Lay Dying, Lamb Of God, and All That Remains.
[] You HATE emos.
[x] You like Black Sabbath.
[] You have gone to Ozzfest.
[x] You have headbanged.
[] You dont like rap.
[x]You have a taste for classic rock as well.


SS Test, Rants and Rambles... uh, oh my?

If anyone would be wondering why I haven’t been on much for the past two (or is it even three?) days….blame school, or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. *cough* Blame school for all the end-of-the-school-year tests that they’ve been giving us lately. I’ve been trying to go to bed early to be ready for them, though it really didn’t even work. As weird as it feels to say this….I usually feel more energetic on mornings which I had went to bed late the night before. Well, as energetic as someone who never functions normally in the morning can get….
And then, blame The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air because it’s addicting and it happens to be on around the time that’s most convenient for me to sit my ass on the computer. M’hm.
I’m gonna make sure to act like the true computer addict that I am tomorrow though. It’s supposed to rain anyway, and I hate rain so the temptation to go outside (another thing to blame) will be gone.
I’m kind of thinking that this might be a long entry….but who knows. I do get that particular feeling a lot when I stalk over to the computer, all hyped up and ready to type whatever happens to be on my mind….but when it all comes down to the very moment where I’m ready to start, I almost always immediately feel lazy. Maybe, like behind some mask I have on that I don’t even know about yet, I don’t like to talk about myself just that much….or something. I don’t know.
But, um….yeah. Let’s just move on, mm’kay? To SocialStudiesState tests….yes.
Both yesterday and today, my entire grade had to take them. I guess….that they were okay. They weren’t exactly great either, though. I’d be lying if I said that it was fun taking them, but I guess the second part, the writing (short answer and essay) part, was….slightly better. Most probable reason why that I can think of is because it was all just writing, and I know I’m more at ease writing an essay than guessing random answers to multiple choice answers, even if the essay does take longer and make my hand cramp up.
There was a couple short answer questions on the first part, too….and one question was something like “What lady were they referring to that refused to move to the back of the bus?” I know now that it was Rosa Parks….duh; everyone should know that, right? Actually, a lot of people couldn’t remember her name….but that’s not the point. The real point is that since I couldn’t remember who the fucking hell she was at first, I wrote Janet Jackson.
Janet fucking Jackson.
Could I GET anymore retarded?
In the end though, I did remember her name….and you know what made me remember? The Boondocks (for all you who don’t know, it’s a show you can watch on Adult Swim….it, um, can be really racist, but it does go over a lot of African American....history now that I think about it). Of all the things….I have the first season on DVD, and there was a deleted scene titled “Rosa Parks Chicken Wing” or something like that….I won’t get in detail on that one, though. Let’s just say a quote from that scene will never let me fully forget what she’s famous for. It’ll always be stashed somewhere in my brain, ready to pop out when needed like it did today.
I really can’t think of anything else to say now….Wait! School bus. I bitched at this girl Taylor (well I do practically every day because I. Hate. Her, so I make sure to make her bus ride a living fucking hell when there’s nothing else better to do….and really, there’s not much you can do on a school bus anyway, what with a bus driver that reminds you of a rapist). Well, this was basically the scene that made me decide to start bitching at her:
Brit: *gets on bus, nose wrinkles, and mutters* What the hell smells like B.O…. (Note that I wasn’t even talking to her, just musing to myself…)
Taylor: I think it’s YOU.
Brit: I think it's your wide open legs-
End scene.
I can see how that probably made me come off as a bitch, but I can’t stand her so my bad mood can be triggered easily when she says the wrong thing. Which she did. That little statement of hers did piss me off though. Maybe tomorrow I’ll annoy her ass off the wall twice as hard just to teach her a lesson or something.
I really do feel that I must come off as an immature bitch sometimes. :(
What Your Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Means

Your eating style is reserved. You are a bit of a fussy eater, and you have very specific ways you like your food prepared.

You have a total sweet tooth. When you can get away with it, you like to have dessert before dinner!

Your taste in food tends to be pretty flexible. You may crave sushi one night, and your favorite childhood recipe the next.

Admit it, you're a little trashy and low class at times. You're definitely more comfortable at a tattoo parlor than the theater.

You are a tough person who isn't afraid to live life fully. There isn't a lot that scares you.

You are laid back and extremely easygoing. You never make a fuss, and you try to enjoy every moment.
People who come up to me with their silly rabbit, tricks are for kids relationship problems honestly need to back. The hell up. Why is it that people always have this deep seeded need to feed their troubles onto the one person that could honestly care less, and shows it on a daily basis? Doesn’t the ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude and posture mean anything these days? Or maybe people are getting that dense….either way it never fails to piss me off.
I don’t care. I show it; say it even. And yet they keep going and going….As if saying it 5,000 fucking times will fool me into thinking I actually do care, and get me to charge up to the object of their problems and cuss ‘em out until they piss themselves and go cry to the guidance counselor. Or something.
I know, I’m totally and completely bitching at the moment, but….I is pissed. Two people fed their boy toy troubles onto me today, and another wants me to tell their little pet that she wants to break up with him.
Mmmm, yeah, no. I am no one’s bitch, mm’kay? People can be my bitch if they want, but the other way around is a no-go. Because I don’t like to do things for people unless I love them that much. Hell, I hardly even want to do some things for myself, that’s why some people are my acclaimed bitches, after all!
And I’ll stop, because I really am starting to seem like an egotistical brat. And I may truly be that, but at this moment I don’t feel like letting my true colors loose on the internetzorz, yes?
In other news… I bought the Flyleaf CD yesterday.
Holy hell, I love it so fucking much. We all know that the best bands are the ones whose CD’s you can listen to on and on and on without skipping a single track, after all…
" Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she knows
How to believe in futures "
Fully Alive by Flyleaf